Six Twenty-Two

The same photo, oriented twice for its subject matter.

Oriented twice so that you can see both the upright and downright me. Negation as a form of making sense.
"Nothing is given prior to negation," said Heidegger.

Negation is important because we can't comprehend the whole.
Because, even at our most fragmented, we find ourselves in the midst of beings that can't help but consider themselves a whole.
Saying (or feeling) 'I am not part of this group,' stresses my sense of disconnection within a larger structure.
Saying this suggests there exists a that.

"Nothing is given prior to negation."

But even here? Looking down on the earth? Seeing geometry instead of apartment complexes, air-conditioning, streetlights?

The mood I was in leaving Brooklyn -- I was taught to feel that mood. Wasn't I? Was I?

Even dissatisfaction is learned, a conscious and learned behavior that necessarily puts me in the The Whole. Again.

*

I can hear train horns in the background. In the background of the video that plays while I type this.

I'd heard that sound many years before, when we lived on the desolate corner of East Railroad,
and I could hit the passing trains with a rock from my bedroom window, had my bedroom contained a window.


No windows in childhood. I feel like Rapunzel writing that.

I felt, not feel. Did I write feel?

Heidegger also said that fear is the fear of something, that it is related to panic and to a specific object;
anxiety, however, is meditative, a non-object focus on the feeling of unsettlement.

In anxiety, there is no object. 

Anxiety reveals....nothing.

Instead, things seem to recede away from us.

But in this recession where things matter less than the unsettled feeling,
the gaps between us and other things/people become almost Visible, Seeable with the eye.

This suggests that in my anxiety I can finally look at how much material space exists between me and you.

Welcome, the sensation of the spatial Whole.