I'm Traci Lynn Matlock.
I live and work in Houston, Texas.

Mostly, I shoot old-fashioned film.


I share more: here

And I always like email:
turningthequickcartwheel at gmail

Monday, July 28, 2014

Halfway through my last journal I wrote this, in unlabled undocumented quotes,


The landscape is a testimony,
a metaphorical visualization of non-linearity & interconnectedness.


*


Reading it then, reading it now, my right hand (im)pulses to create.
Underneath that entry, without quotes and with the same pen, I wrote: 

spatial & narrative confusion
optical illusion collapses spatial categories


*


I apologize to whomever and whatever work I documented without a source;
I owe you double for putting my unsayables into speech.

When someone teaches me how to approach something,
I should remember the spring and not just the flowing forth.

I am learning many things half a journal too late.










Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Asked & Answered


Interviewer

So you have a sense of what you want the visitor to go away with?


William Kentridge

No, that I never have. That I absolutely don't have.

It's an invitation to to the visitor to see if there are points of connection, points of overlap between
their memory, their experiences, their desires & what they see on the screen and what they hear.

But it's not as if: Chapter 1) FEAR, Chapter 2) DELIGHT.

It's not an emotional journey plotted for an audience.
That requires cynicism, I think, and thinking on behalf of other people.



* * *

I don't often wonder what you think when you visit me here,
but that doesn't mean I don't find it valuable.

I find it difficult to understand the translation, think it can best be guessed when face-to-face,
the assymetry of sitting across from you (over coffee or coffee table) the only way to recognize symmetry of conversation.

So if I'm lucky, I forget it matters that you come here and see things and make false and accurate assumptions.
I forget that returning matters. Mine and yours.

At least occasionally.

How you have been affected by my accusers, I cannot tell;

but I know that they almost made me forget who I was,
so persuasively did they speak.

Plato, The Apology


 *

(And the accusers are rarely exterior.)






Tuesday, July 22, 2014

"Whatever gives you pleasure gives you power,"

said 'Anna Span' paraphrasing Jaques Lacan.

*

ecstasy + 3 people in the couple's theater + pink fishnet porn + the hand of the June birthday girl :

I did not take this photo, though I heart heart heart it. 2014

Sunday, July 20, 2014

"If they appear to be casual, they were meant to."


I had a serious camera malfunction the last time I was in NYC, so most of my film is vastly over or underexposed.

Looking through the film for the first time was humbling.
To say the least.
I cannot, literally cannot, say the most.

These photographs are now remnants,
left behind images that provoke an imaginative memory,
only.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Today's secret

is that I've been thinking about the concept of posting over the content of posting, wondering if,
as Kenneth Goldsmith said in a lecture at the CAMH last weekend, that self-expression would happen no matter.

No matter content, specifically.

So I'm at work right now. Broke out my laptop to make a small post here since I've been wanting to for a few days.
Decided to share the first photograph I spotted when I opened my finder, and here it is:


Is Kenny right? Am I self-expressing as I press Publish?
 
And, if so, do you know what it is?


Friday, July 11, 2014

Said Lillian Hellman,

"It’s a sad day when you find out that it’s not accident or time or fortune,
but just yourself that kept things from you."

*

I realize it's inevitable, eventually recognizing yourself as the enactor of your own regret.
Ridiculous and naive to imagine vanquishing it.

Instead, I act against the impulse toward self-culpability by attempting more than makes my body comfortable,
engaging in more than makes my partners comfortable and sharing more than makes my audience comfortable.


Not to say I don't believe in boundaries. I just believe in ethical realization of what's beyond the given ones.

For instance:


 
Though these were all taken at my whim and with my camera, they are not all self-portraits.
I consider them a collaborative effort, which is really my preferred way to make things and/or get into trouble.

Monday, July 7, 2014

What is it about non-verbal language that makes it so listenable, micro tones and anti-harmony in particular?



I initially uploaded each of the five photos I took in this moment, thinking I would share with you a bit of my visual process, how I delved (in a matter of seconds) into the extension of the frame, decided what could be left out or what had to be put back in place, why one shape or depth or stretch of the foot attracts me right now more than the other.

But slowly I removed one image, then I removed others, until, finally, I was left with this last photograph.

I am still in New York, though I am leaving too soon. Today I developed one roll of film that wasn't from my first day and a half here. I love every centimeter of each negative. However, if any of them are good or not (by my standards, at least), remains to be known. Ask me next year.

I am getting on a plane soon.
I am terrible with good-bye letters, so I always promise to return instead.

To me, what I can say and what I cannot is the totality of my world. 

Saturday, July 5, 2014

If architectonics is a stuy of scale,

then it only seems appropriate to consider the state of my priorities as I headed to the building next to where this was shot,
the illness of my body forgotten in lieu of potential bliss. 

Determination toward bliss.

Constant. Skyward. Bliss.

*
 
Pre-Nu

One roll of film, July 2nd, 2014, Manhattan.



I don't look on poetry as closed works.
I feel they're going on all the time in my head, and I occasionally snip off a length.


- John Ashbery

*

Yes, that is how making photographs works for me.
Except where he writes 'in my head,' I would write 'in the world.'